Dear Husband...

Although the presents you've picked out in the past have been absolutely fabulous, I'd thought I'd give you an extra hand in the next round of gift giving. (don't we have a dating anniversary coming up January 24th? ;))

Want!

The i pod nano (in pink of course)...



And to go along with it the Nike+ system...


only to be followed by the Nikon D90 (think of all the money we would save not hiring a photographer!)...


And remember when I said I want to go to Hawaii on for my 30th birthday? Well that still stands...



And lastly, if all else fails, I'd really love to sleep in every once in awhile. I am, afterall, carrying *your* baby. And since it was *you* who knocked me up, it's only fair. :)

To not run the marathon...

I've decided after much deliberation that I'm not going to run the marathon. I never even bothered to call my doctor like I said I would. After this past week of morning sickness there is no way I can try and run 26.2 miles. Hell, I can barely walk to the kitchen without feeling like I want to lay down. It's all good though, because two of my oldest friends (and possibly my sister, RIGHT JESSICA???) are going to run their first marathon in 2010. This makes me feel all warm in fuzzy inside. :)

Here we are at the Reindeer Run...



I feel ok about my decision because I'd rather run my first marathon and really see what I can do rather than do a "glorified walking" version of it. You only lose your marathon virginity once and I want it to be an awesome experience.

So now Chip and I will enjoy a nice dinner and a night at the cirque du Soleiel which I've been dying to go to now for years, followed by a stay at our $300 dollar a night fancy hotel (I needed ideal pre-race sleep, ya know?). Now *that* gets a pregnant girl excited!

To run the marathon or not run the marathon. That is the question!

So last Saturday I ran 10 miles and had to stop. I kept getting this pain in my lower right side. When I would walk it would go away, but every time I picked back up to run it started again. It really had me worried: would I really be able to finish the marathon safely? I hadn't gotten a chance to run again due to Christmas craziness, but I did get out there today and ran 5 miles in exactly 60 minutes (that included 3 trips inside to pee and stopping for water, so not too bad) and no pain. This is definitely a good sign.

I mentioned in an earlier post that my Dr. gave me the green light to participate in the marathon, but now I'm doubting her knowledge. She really didn't ask me too many questions and it seemed I had to explain to her my training, plan, etc. without her asking. I think she was quick to say "yeah, go for it". The more I research the Internet the more I find lots and lots of people who say "no way!". I keep reading about how you need to be extremely careful to not let your core body temperature rise too high and how if it does it can cause birth defects. Yeah, not worth it! It's also really important to make sure your heart rate doesn't go above 140. I have no idea what my heart rate is while running. In fact, I'm going to the mall when the kids wake up to buy a heart rate monitor so I can start being more careful.

So my new plan is to call my ob/gyn office tomorrow and get a second opinion. My dr. office is a group and there are 4 other doctors. If another doctor says its ok, then I will run. If I get a vibe like I shouldn't do it from the doctor then all bets are off.

Part of me is really sad that I put so much work into the goal and now I might have to postpone it until 2010. The good thing is, is that I have a friend Kristen who is planning on running her 1st marathon in 2010 so we could lose our marathon virginity together. :) If I do postpone it, I will run the Gasparilla half marathon on March 1st instead.

Decision, decisions!

In other pregnancy related news, morning sickness is rearing her ugly head. I was hoping I'd dodged the bullet this time, but yeah no such luck.

Merry Christmas Friends!

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Today I've had the pleasure of seeing Christmas through a child's eyes and its the most magical thing ever. I love being able to play Santa and see the excitement it brings to the kids. They have had so much fun today and it isn't even over yet. I swear my kids are thee most spoiled kids in the world. They have received so many toys its incredible. I have nowhere to put things! I'm really trying to make sure they appreciate each and every toy they get along with each and every person who gave it. Jack is a little young, but Grace has been very grateful and more than willing to give out thank you hugs. It's so nice being able to be with family on a day like today. I love Christmas time!

I'll post again tomorrow with an update on the marathon. I'm feeling like those dreams are going up in smoke, but we'll see.

Love you all! Merry Christams!!

Recap of the past week...

This was written last Saturday after my first appointment, but I'm just now getting around to posting...

In other bad news though, I think I'm miscarrying (sp?) again. I went to the dr. on Thursday and had my first ultrasound. According to lmp I was 5 weeks 6 days. I knew it was probably too early to see the hb, but they didn't see anything. Only something that "might" be a gestational sac. No yolk sac, no fetal pole. The dr. thinks it *could* be too early, but I just have a bad feeling. I've been searching the interwebs like a mad women and of course I've gotten nowhere. Some people go on to have babies, others miscarry. I took a blood test Thursday for my hcg levels and will repeat on Monday. I should know by Tuesday what's going on and then another ultrasound on Thursday if needed. Thursday (the 18th) is the anniversary of my d&c last year. I'm really upset over this. Why does this keep happening. I'm not completely giving up hope, but I'm definitely preparing myself for the worst. Before the ultrasound the dr. asked me about my symptoms. She asked about morning sickness (which I got horribly with both Grace and Jack) and i told her I didn't have any m/s. She said and I quote "that could be a sign of a miscarriage". I felt doomed and I guess with good reason.

***On Saturday morning I ran a 5k. It was in downtown Tampa and we ran along the water near bayshore. I was so emotionally drained and barely had anything in me, but when the race started I felt at peace. The sun was shining on the water and I was listening to U2's "where the streets have no name". As I crossed the finish line my eyes filled with tears and I had to tell myself to suck it up so I didn't look like a jackass. I came in at 26:29. 4 seconds longer than my best time. I ran that race for the baby I was hoping was growing inside.*******


So then on Monday I found out my hgc level from the previous Thursday was 1895. This gave me some hope because I've read that you don't develop a fetal pole until your levels reach around 2,ooo. Anyway, I had a second test done on Monday and this was written after the phone call from the dr.

I got my numbers back and look ok. Last Thursday they were 1895 and then Monday they were 3,850. The dr. said that was a good sign and that my numbers were up by 56% and she was happy with that. It didn't sound like that great of an increase to me. I looked it up and normally the numbers should double every 48-72 hours and mine doubled after 90. We go for another ultrasound tomorrow at 11:10 to see if the baby is growing. I still haven't had any spotting and I'm always hungry and have been pretty bitchy too, so I guess that's a good sign, lol. I think either way I'm going to be ok with it. I was shocked/upset last week, but I'm sort of numb now and prepared to deal with it either way. I keep trying to tell myself all the reasons it would be good if I wasn't pregnant, so that way if it doesn't work out I won't be crushed. On the flipside, I know if I see a heartbeat and baby I will be WAY excited. It's the weirdest feeling to be pregnant and not be able to be happy and joyful. I can't wait to either be so happy or to just move on. I need answers, kwim??

Well today we went for our ultrasound. The moment of truth, if you will. I was SO extremely nervous. We ended having to wait for an hour in the waiting room. I could not sit still. Finally they called us back and as we entered the room I told the tech how I was here to basically confirm that I was having a miscarriage. She had me get changed and then it was time. As soon as the ultrasound started I immediately said "see there's no heartbeat" to which she replied, "actually if you look right there..." OMG...There it was our baby's heart beating away. I was so surprised, relieved, happy, excited, etc. My knees actually started shaking and I was such a mess. She turned the volume up and let us listen for a minute.

Music to a mothers ears!!

The coolest thing is my due date is August 12th. My little brother's birthday!!!!

And to top things off Chip won 7,000 dollars today in a competition at work. What a blessing! Life is good!!

Is it Thursday yet???

This waiting is killing me. I just want to know everything is ok. I wonder if they will give me an ultrasound. I bet not. If they did the baby would only be about 6 weeks and probably no heart beating yet which means I'd have to go back in a few weeks. Anyway, tomorrow is my last final of the semester. I have not studied or read one single minute. My mind has only been thinking about this little baby inside me. How in the world and I supposed to concentrate? Wish me luck tomorrow.

I ran again today. I only did 3 miles ( 29ish minutes) because I felt bad asking MIL (mother-in-law) to watch Jack for any longer (she helps me out almost every single day). I feel great when I run and so far no morning sickness so maybe it's true that exercise wards off the evil m/s.

Telling the kids...

Duh, how could I forget to write about telling the kids. Well we told them this morning. That little diva, Grace, didn't think a thing about it. All she said was "a girl baby, I want a sister", LOL. I told her I would see what I could do, but that we'd have to take whatever God gave us. I didn't officially tell Jack, well because he's 19 months and really wouldn't understand anyway. All Steffen had to say was "really? are you serious?". I guess we'll tell Isaac when he comes for Christmas.

5 kids total= Insanity!!!!!

Don't judge

So I fully intend to run the marathon that I've spent the last 8 months or so planning for. Do you all think that's crazy? After searching countless sites on the Internet (cause you know the Internet it where you should get all your medical advice) I'm thinking it will be ok. I'll be seeing my new doc on Thursday and already have my argument ready. Here it is:

1. I will listen to my body and stop if I feel the slightest bit off.
2. I will eat enough calories.
3. I will stay extra hydrated, even more so than normal.
4. I will slow down and walk every so often.
5. I will make sure I don't get out of breathe.

I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hope she gives me the green light. I got out this morning and ran 5 miles in about 50 minutes and felt great. I was really trying to slow my pace down and take it easy and was surprised to see that I was still running around 10/min miles. Even if I get denied permission to run the full marathon I'm still going to continue running as long as I can during the pregnancy. I've heard it can ward of morning sickness and since I get m/s something fierce, i'm sold.

Oh, and we told the in-laws today. They were really excited. I was nervous for nothing. Although they are a bit conservative/old fashioned for my taste they really are good peeps.

Now all that's left to tell is my dad/stepmom and my friends.

Now what??

So I told my sister Jessica first thing after testing, cause we all know I got the mouth of the south and cannot keep a secret of this caliber in. I think she was just as shocked as I was. I think she made some smart ass comment about Chip's super sperm, but nothing was funny to me at this point. She's 25 weeks pregnant herself so now we get to do this together. Fun times, right? Wrong. I'm the most miserable pregnant girl that ever lived. I get ALL of the bad symptoms of pregnancy. How in the world and I gonna manage to do this with a barely 3 year old diva and a lunatic 1 year old brut??? I think I've digressed. Anyway, so Thursday afternoon I call my sisters doctor to make an appointment since I really didn't like the last ob/gyn I went to in Tampa and since my favorite doctor in the whole world (who delivered Grace and Jack) is in Sarasota and that's just too far. I mentioned to the lady that I had a miscarriage last year around this time and I was very nervous about it happening again. I also told her that I've spent the last 8 or so months training for a marathon and that I've been running pretty hard in the past few weeks. She actually seemed like she cared and scheduled me for Thurday Dec. 11th. I was really excited to get an appointment so soon.

Hmmm, did I mention yesterday (friday) was my mom's 55th birthday? Well it was, and clever ol' me decided to wrap a gift with a note inside that said "grandchild #4 I'm pregnant!". I gave it to her today at breakfast with all my family around the table.

Oh wait, did I mention I blabbed the news to my brother Friday night after dinner. I told you I'm the mouth of the south. Oh, and I told some of my girlfriends on Friday too, but they all live out of state so I knew my secret was safe with them.

I'm total rambling now. Ahhh I can't believe I'm pregnant!!

Tomorrow we're telling Chip's parents. Wish me luck on that. Why do I feel like they're going to be mad at us?? They are so worried about a depression and they think Obama is the anti-Christ and that the US is going to hell in a handbasket. I know they will think we should have been more careful and that bringing another baby into the world during "these times" is not smart. Whatever, I don't really care. I'M HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!! WOOT!!!!!!!!!

Are you there God it's me Mindy...

Are you kidding me?? Am I really pregnant again?? This must be a mistake, you've got the wrong girl. It can't be. It is!

So on Tuesday I got the big ol' wake up call that something wasn't right. My period should have started sometime during the weekend, but nada. I figured it must be late due to all the running miles I've put in lately. Anyway, so there I was standing in the kitchen on Tuesday morning when this wave of nausea settled over me. It only lasted about 30 seconds, but it was that undeniable only when pregnant type of nauseousness. It stopped me in my tracks and all I could think was "oh shit". Fast forward to Wednesday and still no period. I thought about testing, but figured I would wait until Thursday when Chip was going to be home. I was scheduled to run a 16 mile run Thursday morning but once I woke at 2am and couldn't go back to sleep, I decided I better get a test first and then maybe run later in the day. So I dropped Grace off at school, went to Walgreen's, came home, and Chip and I watched as I peed on a stick.

About 2 minutes later.....PREGNANT appears on the test.

My first thought: HOLY SHIT!!!!